Thanks so much, Marley. It means a lot to know that you can relate to this on both personal and systemic levels. White victimhood is a really disturbing and upsetting phenomenon… I feel like whiteness and narcissism have a lot in common, for maintaining victimization is a key feature of narcissistic behaviors that parallel what’s also been described as white fragility… if narcissism is about using defense mechanisms to keep unconscious any indications of imperfection, and white supremacy is about socializing white people into feeling superior to everyone else even though they’re not, then it seems like narcissism and whiteness depend upon similar processes in order to maintain an illusion of imperfection that is ultimately not based in reality in either case.

I got a comment on this piece from someone who accused me of “racemongering…” I laughed out loud when I read this, but the laughter was tinged with anger and sadness. I definitely feel ashamed of/for my people, and hope to generate more white accountability for creating, maintaining, and (potentially, hopefully) dismantling systems of oppression. Thanks again for your comment, I appreciate it!