Member-only story
I’ve dated a lot of narcissists and didn’t realize it until I learned that my father was a narcissist. I didn’t think of my father as a narcissist until a family friend referred to him as such after returning from a game of racquetball. I vividly recall the peculiar smirk my father displayed in response to this assertion, and from this point forward I began considering my father through a lens of narcissism. Doing so helped me better understand both him and my unhealthy relationships — I don’t feel loved by my father, and was seeking love from people who felt similar to him, but because this similarity was based in narcissism I instead kept being abused. It has taken me a long time to understand the impact narcissistic abuse has had on my life, and I am in the midst of confronting some of the deeper wounds this abuse has inflicted upon my psyche.
I want to share what I have learned about narcissism and narcissistic abuse with the hope that doing so can help others learn how to understand narcissism and how to navigate relationships with narcissists. Narcissists are not bad people; they are hurt people, and hurt people hurt people. What makes narcissism difficult to deal with is the fact that narcissists do not consider themselves to be narcissists, and will react with anger if any of their narcissistic qualities are identified. You deserve to have your needs met in every relationship, but if you are in a relationship with a narcissist then it is likely that your needs are not being met and that you are in pain that you might…
